Finding My Way
by Nikki-Chaos
Summary: My mistakes cost me the ones I love and now I'm all alone. Will I ever find my way home again or am I forever lost...Sequel to Where Do I Belong?
1. 5 months

You left me with goodbye and open arms

A cut so deep I don't deserve

Well, you were always invincible in my eyes, yeah

The only thing against us now is time

Could it be any harder to say goodbye and without you,

Could it be any harder to watch you go, to face what's true

If I only had one more day

(You fade away, fade away, fade away, oh)

I lie down and blind myself with laughter

Well, a quick fix of hope is what I'm needing, ooh

And now I wish that I could turn back the hours, ooh

But I know I just don't have the power, yeah

Could it be any harder – The Calling

**5 months after the ending of Where Do I Belong**

The leader of Hell's Reapers Vegas Chapter was currently kneeling, bloody and broken in the middle of a barn surrounded by members of The Sons of Anarchy. A mixture of different chapters filled the room making Bumble feel a little out of sorts.

He knew what was happening. He'd already seen it happen to all the other men of the Chapter, all dead with no evidence pointing to any killer yet he knew who it was. After all who else would only come after the Vegas chapter of the Reapers leaving all the others intact and whole?

Bumble decides on last ditch attempt to save his life, hoping and praying it will work. Though somewhere deep in his corrupt heart he knows it won't.

"She never ratted you know" He says spraying blood with every word and he knows he is probably missing a few teeth

"Who" Tig asks from his place to Bumble's right, his shoulder leaning against one of the beams, his whole posture giving off a vibe that he knows what Bumble is going to say but has decided to play along.

"Chaos"

Bumble smirks as this gets everyone's attention, mostly the guy to his left who is pointing the gun at him. Happy he thinks he heard his name was.

"What about Chaos?" Jax asks

"She never ratted on you guys" Bumble shrugs "Didn't tell us shit. Though I'm not surprised I knew where her loyalties lie well before I sent her to Charming"

"You're trying to tell us that you sent her to Charming knowing who she was" The scot asks and looking at him Bumble can tell this is Chaos' dad, the two of them share the same wise eyes and facial structure.

"Yeah, she was a lost little girl that ate up every lie I told her. I was hoping you'd kill her for me but it looks like family wins with you guys"

Happy growls before slamming the butt of his gun into Bumbles head making it snap to the side and blood to come spraying out of Bumble's mouth followed by a groan.

"Don't speak about her that way"

"Why?" Bumble asks straightening himself "You guys just left her. Where is she now as I know she isn't with you guys."

"Do you know where she is?" The scot asks coming to stand in front of Bumble "Do you know where my daughter is?"

"She joined the nomad chapter of the reapers" Bumble states bored "Right after you banished her. So she could be anywhere"

"That the truth" Jax asks

"That's the truth" Bumble nods knowing that was also Jax's way of asking if he's finished talking but there's one more thing Bumble wants to throw out there before he's put to ground. "The four Mayans who were killed last week"

"What about them?" Jax asks coming to stand just off the right of Happy, his eyes glaring at the man in front of him yet Bumble can see they are all hanging off every word that leaves his mouth

"Chaos killed them"

"Why?" Jax murmurs "Why would Chaos kill four Mayans knowing it would start a war"

"Retaliation"

"Retaliation for what" Tig asks standing a little straighter

"For killing her unborn child" Bumble sighs "Chaos was pregnant when she joined the nomads. She'd gone to the Washington Chapter to hide and look after her child. The Mayan's jumped her as she left some sort of store leaving her bloody and beaten in an alleyway. Chaos remembered their faces and once the hospital cleared her and she was well enough again she jumped on her bike and killed them"

"I heard the Mayan's were tortured to the brink of insanity before being killed" Quinn says, a member of the Sons Nomad chapter, someone Bumble had seen around a few times but never interacted with

"Chaos has quite the imagination. She was deadly before but now after having her child ripped from her before it was even born she's beyond deadly"

"Shit" Jax curses and Bumble rotates his eyes towards Happy, watching as the stoic man tightens. His anger clear but also another emotion reads clear in his eyes, Pain.

It's in that instance Bumble knows exactly who the father of Chaos' unborn child was, the man she was running from. It's a shame really as they are both so alike that they'd have made the deadliest pair in MC history.

"Why join the Nomad chapter and then hide with the Washington chapter. How can she do that if she betrayed you?" Someone else asks and Bumble sighs

"Chaos fits into the MC world and it's not just as an Old lady, as much as I didn't respect her and believe she belonged there she does. I didn't want the place where she belonged to banish her like her family did" he smirks as he digs that knife home "So the Vegas chapter kept the betrayal to themselves allowing her to carry on being a member of Hell's Reapers. Mostly because some did love her like a little sister"

The next few moments are the longest Bumble has ever had the joy of sitting through as he waits for the moment when his life ends. It comes as quick as he'd hoped, before he can even hear Happy load the gun he's dead, his dead body slumping forward, A pool of crimson blood starting to gather around him tainting the barn floor.

"Shit" Jax repeats as he looks up from Bumbles dead form to Happy, the man shaking slightly as he lowers his gun to his side "We'll find her Hap"

"She was pregnant" He whispers "We banished her whilst she was carrying my child and now some Mexicans stole that from not only me but her"

Jax sighs, he knew when Gemma had told them Nikki was pregnant too much shit was going on in Hap's head for the news to set in but he knows it had now set in but a little too late. It just made Jax feel even more of an ass. They'd turn their backs on a member of their family and now she'd gone through all this shit with none of them there for her.

"She killed them" Quinn says coming to stand next to Happy placing a hand on his shoulder "She killed them and they can't hurt anyone ever again. Come on let's focus on finding your girl"

"We've looked everywhere" Happy spits "It's been five months and we still aren't close to finding her"

"What about Disney?" Tig asks "She loves Nikki so maybe her and Nik kept in touch"

"Chibs?" Jax asks "In the midst of you two sleeping together did she leave her number"

"It was for a burner that's no longer active" He sighs before running a hand through his hair

They all curse and head out of the barn, as Chibs goes to get his gloves from the inside of his Kutte his fingers brush over paper and he pulls out the letter Nikki gave him. He turns to Happy and hands it over.

"She gave me this the day we did what we did, she told me to give it to you when the dust had settled. Seeing as it won't be settling for a while I think you should have it anyway"

"Why didn't you give me it earlier" he asks his coal black eyes boring into Chibs

"I forgot I had it"

Happy nods and they all pull away from the Barn leaving Bumble to the elements as they all head back to the clubhouse and to Clay. He was still president as even with the proof it wasn't enough to over throw him, it was enough for him to relinquish Nikki's banishment hence why they were all looking for her but now, now none of them trusted him as much as they used to and always undermined his decisions. Even Tig who had always followed Clay blindly didn't any more, well not as much, he was still one hundred percent Clay's boy but the others not so much.

Chibs sighs as he drives down the street behind the others, the news that his grandchild had been killed by Mayans playing over and over in this head. He should have been there for his daughter, he should have been there to protect her and help her deal. Hell he would have helped her kill the Mayans. Chibs was never one for hating himself but now, now he hated every single part of himself for turning his back on his daughter. All he can hope is she will find her way back to them.

If not back to him, back to Happy. Ever since Nikki had been banished he had been even quieter than normal, only talking when spoken too. He still lived in the house Nikki bought and he still left all her things there untouched as though waiting for the day she was coming home, hell he even kicked Crow eaters away and that was when Chibs knew Happy really did love his daughter.

"Come home Nikki" he whispers to the wind before concentrating on the road ahead.

* * *

**END NOTE – SO first chapter of the sequel to Where Do I Belong. What do you think. Nikki will be taking over the next chapters so don't worry. Also there will be a big time skip where I'll try and bring the show into the story. So please stick with me, it gets better this is just a little look at how the guys are dealing with shit.**

**PLEASE REVIEW AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK.**


	2. 3 Years

I can hold my breath

I can bite my tongue

I can stay away for days

If that's what you want

Be your number one

I can fake a smile

I can force a laugh

I can dance and play the part

If that's what you ask

Give you all I am

I can do it

I can do it

I can do it

But I'm only human

And I bleed when I fall down

I'm only human

And I crash and I break down

Your words in my head, knives in my heart

You build me up and then I fall apart

'Cause I'm only human

Human – Christina Perri

**3 years after the ending of Where Do I Belong**

"I swear Charming has to be the most boring town ever"

I laugh as I adjust the phone on my shoulder and open the door to the Washington clubhouse for the Hell's Reapers, I wave at some of the guys as I walk past them and to the room I'm lending whilst I'm here helping them out.

"You still there girl"

"Yeah D I'm still here; I was just heading to my room and didn't want to broadcast bullshit as you know what the guys are like here in Washington"

"Yeah good point" She laughs "But yeah Charming is boring"

I roll my eyes as she repeats the same words she's been saying for over a year. It's almost as though she's expecting to spark a response out of me.

"You decided to help the sons D, so the punishment of the town being boring is all your own"

"Yeah, yeah" She sighs "When are you coming home girl. Seriously it's been three years"

"D don't start this again"

For the last three years ever since I was banished from Charming, Disney had been trying to get me to come home. Come home to my family, but at the end of the day what family do I have. They turned their back on me and allowed Clay to spread bullshit and get rid of me. I knew all the goings on of Charming and the sons thanks to D and her constant updates. She only got them because she was screwing my dad which was all the details I need and I'd promised her if she shared anymore I would personally shoot her.

In the three years I'd been gone Jax had a son with his ex-wife Wendy, who she was I didn't know as I'd never met her. She'd overdosed on drugs causing Abel to be born premature and with some problems. Whilst Abel was in hospital Jax had met back up with his ex-Tara which then led to the two of them getting back together. Opie's wife Donna had been killed due to a mess up on Clay's behalf. Abel had been kidnapped by a welsh bloke and taken to Belfast so half the guys travelled over there to get him back. And now half of the club was in jail leaving my dad, Opie and Piney to deal with everything in their absence.

Well that's not all that's gone on but that was all I'd listened to as it hurt too much to hear all the details. It was like a knife to my back as they'd given up looking for me after only a year and they let their lives carry on as though they'd forgotten about me. For that I hated them, why should their lives carry on whilst mine fell apart, whilst I was hit with downfall after downfall and had to deal with it all on my own. Disney couldn't do much as I'd made her promise to keep our communication a secret but I'd started to crave the monthly calls and her letting me know what has gone on, just so I knew they were all still alive.

"Baby"

"Sorry Disney, I blanked out"

"It's okay. I've got to go as your dad is getting everything ready for the guys coming home"

"When do they get out?" I ask not really interested

"Tomorrow" She sighs

"Have fun" I reply "Love you D"

"Love you too baby, stay safe"

"Always do"

I close my phone and throw it onto the bed next to me before lying down to stare at the ceiling. My thoughts drifting to the last three years and all the shit I've been through and done.

Once Disney had given me my bike after I'd been banished, I rode until I landed in Washington and pulled up to the Reapers clubhouse, my luck seemed to be in the President for the Nomads was there. I'd asked to join and he accepted me but he had to send off my request letter. It returned accepted two days later so I was now a part of the Nomads. I told the president Barney about being pregnant and he stationed me at Washington to deal with my pregnancy.

Everything was going fine until I was leaving a shop one day, I was about five months pregnant, I was jumped, dragged to an alley and beaten by four Mayans. When I awoke in hospital I immediately knew I'd lost my baby so the minute they discharged me I went looking for the Mayan's that had killed my baby. I found them and tortured them within a hair of insanity before I finally killed them. I returned to the Washington clubhouse and got four new birds inked as well as two other tattoos. One my right hand between my thumb and pointer finger I have a small butterfly tattooed for the child I lost and on my left hand in the same place I have a smiley face to remind me of the love I had and lost.

Since then I've been travelling to and from different states, helping out where I'm needed and where Barney sends me, sometimes killing people and then getting a new tattoo. Sometimes I was just there as added protection. But it seemed the more miles I put on my bike the more I forgot who I was and where I was from. The road simply leading me further and further away.

A knock comes to the door and I sigh before shouting at them to come in, I turn my head to see Barney leaning in the doorway. He was probably the youngest president out of all of the Chapters, he was thirty nine but had seen more shit then any of them combined. He was a lifer who didn't like being patched to one chapter and having to stay there, no he loved the road and all the mystery of it. In a way he reminds me of Happy, minus the wanting to fuck him part as I'd never go there with Barney. He's too much of a friend. One I so desperately needed.

"You okay C"

"I'm just tired" I shrug

"You've been working yourself to the bone" Barney sighs "You need to stop"

"I'm fine"

"No you're not. To be quite honest you're scaring me" He says entering the room and shutting the door behind him "Yeah you're scary when you put your chaos face on but recently it's as though you don't take it off. You've gotten even deadlier"

"That's the point of me being an enforcer isn't it" I ask sarcastically and almost regret my words when I see the frown on Barney's face

"Chaos I want you to remember you're only human. You keep going the way you are you're going to end up dead and then what will that do to your family"

"My family couldn't give a shit if I died" I spit sitting up "They turned their backs on me"

"Is this what this is, some sick and twisted way of getting revenge on them?"

"No it's just. This club is all that I have left and I don't want to lose it. And I feel if I don't act one hundred percent then I'm going to lose my place within it"

"You're not going to lose it, hell half of us want to see you acting soft just so we know you aren't some fucking robot. Look just slow down a little bit okay"

"Yeah okay"

I watch from the corner of my eye as he leaves the room shutting the door behind him softly before dropping back onto the bed returning to my previous position of looking at the ceiling. I ignore Barney's words as I've heard them before but just said by a different mouth with a different accent. I know I'm scaring them, but I'm right when I say if I cant lose this club because if I lost it what do I have left.

Absolutely nothing.

I sit back up and stand off the bed and head out of my room and into the main clubhouse where a party is in full swing for the celebration of a successful run. I walk over to the bar where a prospect hands me a beer, I smile before chugging it back. I sit on a stool and turn to my back is against it and grab my smokes lighting one up.

"Wow she actually shows for a party"

I turn to the side and see Slash sit next to me and smile. Slash was aptly named because he looked exactly like the guitarist, all tanned skin and a big mass of curly hair. But he was also good with a blade so I guess that counted to his name as well. He was a member of the Nomad chapter and had been travelling with me for three years so the two of us had become somewhat friends.

"I felt like a change" I reply with a shrug before taking a drag of my cig

"Barney told me to tell you were heading out tomorrow"

"Who"

"All of us" He says before ordering a new beer "We're heading up to Tacoma, something about a club up there needing help"

"Which club?" I ask raking my brain trying to think what MC;s are up there and only coming up with one.

"No idea he didn't tell me. So I guess we'll find out when we get there"

"Yeah" I nod "I guess we will"

I try not to let it show to Slash but I'm scared about this run to Tacoma, simply because I knew deep down I knew which club we were helping out and being face to face with them, even if I was a different chapter, was going to take a damned lot out of me. If Barney said I was scaring him now, if I was right about this club then I was going to end up scaring him a whole lot worse by the end of this run.

* * *

**END NOTE – OKAY A TON OF YOU HAVE BEEN ADDING IT TO FOLLOW AND FAVOURITE AND THAT'S ALL FINE. BUT I WOULD LIKE SOME REVIEWS. PLEASE IT TAKES FIVE MINUTES TO REVIEW. SO PLEASE LET ME KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS.**


	3. Hangovers and Killings

It's easy to fall in love

But it's so hard to break somebody's heart

What seemed like a good idea has turned into a battlefield

Once lust has turned to dust and all that's left's held breath

Forgotten who we first met

What seemed like a good idea has turned into a battlefield

We both know it's coming

Does illusion count for something we hide?

The surface tension's gotta break, one drop is all it takes to flood out this lie

You and I

We have to let each other go

We keep holding on but we both know

What seemed like a good idea has turned into a battlefield

Peace will come when one of us puts down the gun

Be strong for both of us

No please, don't run, don't run

Eye to eye, we face our fears unarmed on the battlefield

Battlefield – Lea Michele

Riding with a hangover was always my worst nightmare, between the sun and the sounds of the bikes and traffic I always felt as though my head was about to explode or my eyes were going to burst out of my skull with the pain. Luckily the ride to Tacoma and to the bare neutral ground we were meeting this club was only an hour drive so I didn't have long to suffer.

As we pull up to the field and kill the bikes I begin scanning the area, my eyes darting over the trees and down the road waiting to see a sign of this other club, my fight or flight instinct starting to kick in big time.

"Who are we meeting?" Slash asks Barney from my right.

"The sons"

"Since when did we work with them?" Minx asks and I cringe, her voice sounding way too high pitched this early in a morning.

"We made peace with them about two years ago. I did try telling you guys but you didn't listen" Barney says softly and I could hug him for it. "You okay C"

"Hangover" I mumble "A bad one"

He nods and looks back to Minx who has a look on her face as though she's trying to solve the hardest match equation in the world.

"So what" She finally says "Twenty years of feuding is just forgotten like that and we are now cool with them"

I pity Minx, the feuding between the Sons and Reapers was what got her dad killed, he was a lifer and from what I've been told about him, one of the nicest people you could ever meet.

"The Sons were the one that called the peace" Barney sighs "I don't know why but some of us were fed up of dying and thought it was better to play nice then get killed"

We all go silent at that point as four bikes pull up, my eyes scan the patches as they climb off to see it's the President, the VP, the Sgt at arms and someone else, who I can only guess is one of their enforcers. Barney walks forward and meets the President in the middle and I smirk a little as I watch the interaction. Yeah we might have brokered peace with the sons but it seems to some of them it hadn't exactly settled in yet and there was still some hostility present.

After around ten minutes Barney walks back over to us and we watch as the Sons climb on their bikes and head off. I look at them as they pass and I swear I see one of them wink and nod at me. I shake my head and look over at Barney.

"They need us to kill someone" Slash asks

"Yeah" Barney nods

We listen as he tells us the details on the Rat we need to find, apparently a member of the Tacoma Sons had ratted about the club and they were being investigated so therefor they couldn't do anything about it. Hence us coming in and saving the goddamn day, I can't help but find the irony in this situation as it was only three years ago I was labelled a rat, without actually doing the ratting.

"So we simply find this guy and what?" Slash asks

"The Chaos plays" Barney sighs looking at me

"Works for me" I smirk

"C" Barney starts but I hold up my hand stopping him

"I won't overdo myself I promise"

He nods and we wait for him to climb back on his bike before starting ours up following him away from the field and into the town, my eyes scanning everything they can as the shops and businesses blur past. We pull up to a motel and park the bikes and wait as Minx walks over to the office to book our rooms. She walks back ten minutes later and hands the keys to Barney for his and Slash's room and I follow her to ours, dropping my bags on one of the beds the minute I enter the room before dropping onto the bed myself.

"I call the shower" Minx shouts running into the bathroom

"BITCH" I shout back to be met with her laughter

"Snooze you lose C"

"Yeah just hurry up, Barney wants us out searching in an hour"

She closes the bathroom door with one last laugh and I close my eyes allowing memories I'd kept buried to rush to the surface. It was about a year into my banishment that I allowed memories of Happy to filter back through the wall in my mind I'd created but one had stuck out the most. I'd originally thought that meeting Happy in charming was indeed our first meeting but I'd actually seen him at my eighteenth birthday party.

Some of the Tacoma crew had come down to throw the only princess of SAMCRO one of the biggest parties, I remember there was so many bodies in the clubhouse you could hardly move, the music was so loud you felt it rattling your bones when it hit a real bass filled part. But that was what had stuck out in the memories before but it was something new I'd discovered that stuck out to me more.

I'd been walking away from Jax after he'd swung me around eighteen times, my legs were shaky and I was stumbling everywhere as though I'd drunk a brewery dry yet I'd only had two drinks when I stumbled into someone's arms. I'd stared up at them ready to say sorry when their coal black eyes had silenced every word I'd wanted to say. He'd simply smirked at me, set me right and walked over to Jax. I knew now it was Happy but it seemed my memory only remembered all the drinks and laughter of the night.

Yet I could remember it now. The first meeting between me and the man who would steal my heart and keep it.

0-0-0-0-0-**SCENES OF TORTURE AHEAD**-0-0-0-0-0-0

I stare blankly at the guy before me, not feeling a thing for the poor bastard not even pity.

Finding him wasn't so hard, yeah alright it took us nearly four days but near the end of the third day we saw him, well he wasn't that hard to spot. He was walking around with his goddamn Kutte on and Barney had informed us that most of the Tacoma chapter were heading to Charming for something and the others would all be at the clubhouse until we'd taken care of the rat.

"Please"

I look him in the eyes ignoring his pleas and smirk slightly as I see him shiver and fear begins to bleed into his eyes. His eyes begin looking everywhere but at me but there isn't anyone around to save him. The others had all headed back to the motel leaving me alone with this guy, they knew I could get him to talk one way or another and I planned to do just that.

I grab the knife from the table next to me and walk forward and begin dragging the cold blade down his chest, watching with blank emotions as he begins to shiver and once again plead for his life.

"Why did you rat on your club" I purr staring at him

"I didn't"

"Liar" I dig the knife in and smirk as he screams before averting my gaze to the stream of blood leaving the cut "Now I'd start talking before I mess up more of your pretty little body"

"I swear I didn't rat, please believe me"

"I'd love to darling" I drawl once again dragging the knife down his chest "But you see there was proof so therefor I can't"

I watch his face as I stop the knife just above the bulge in his trousers, my eyes betraying nothing as I dig the knife in his screams echoing in the large room. I drag the knife down and nearly feel sorry for him, nearly.

"And there goes your family allowance"

"Why are you doing this" He asks and I stop short contemplating his answer, my eyes staring into his tear filled ones.

"Because I have to" I whisper

I turn my back on him and take a deep breath before turning back to him, my mask firmly back in place and my emotions locked away deep inside.

"Just tell me why you ratted" I growl "Then I'll make this quick"

"I was paid to" He says

"And"

"No" He says shaking his head "I'm not saying anymore"

I stalk forward and dig my knife into his stomach not caring what I hit and what I burst, my eyes flick to his to see him biting his lip to keep from screaming.

"Tell me"

"I was paid to rat, I was told if I didn't do it then I'd be killed"

"Yet you knew you're club would kill you" I ask

"Yes" He nods

"Who paid you?" I ask removing the knife a little bit

"An old Hell's Reaper" He sighs dropping his head "He told me his name was Hook"

I stop short as that name hits me before digging the knife back in and dragging it upwards, before it hits his chest I pull it out his head lifting up to look at me. I lift my arm and swipe the blade across his neck ending his life. I drop the knife to the floor and run my hands through my hair not caring about the blood on my hands over covering my clothes. I drop my hands back to my side and turn to walk out the warehouse but stop in my tracks, my eyes locking onto a VERY familiar pair that are currently staring at me as though all their Christmas' have come at once.

"Oh shit"

* * *

**End Note – SO WHO DO YOU THINK IS WITH CHAOS….PLEASE REVIEW AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK DARLINGS. I LOVE HEARING ALL YOUR FEEDBACK SO ALL YOU HAVE YET TO REVIEW PLEASE DO, I WANT TO HEAR WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY**


	4. The Past Seriously Has Bad Timing

This time is different

It's not like the times before

I crossed my heart, that I won't kill no more

Jesus watch over me, keep my anger at home

You better bless these wicked hands

Cause they got a mind of their own

Don't go downtown

The devil whispers in my ear, "It's time for your curtain call"

So I dress myself on up with alcohol

Step aside, step aside, oh, let the whistler through

There really ain't no help at all for folks like me and you

Don't go downtown

Don't go downtown

The Whistler - The White Buffalo

"Not the welcome I was expecting" His husky voice drawls as his eyes scan me from head to toe and back again.

"What do you expect after three years" I spit my emotions conflicting

"Maybe a hug and a kiss as an added bonus"

I laugh with dark mirth as my eyes scan him head to toe, my body reacting to all those old emotions.

"Come on baby" he smirks "Sure you don't want to kiss me"

I growl before slamming my bloody fist into his jaw, smirking as his head snaps to the side. Blood covers his skin from where mine met his and I can't help but notice how it doesn't seem out of place. On some people blood doesn't look right on their skin. But then again it should only be on the skin of those who are either dead or are killers.

"What are you doing here?"

"Well some of the guys from Tacoma told us you were here dealing with their rat problem. I didn't believe them so I asked Clay if I could come and see for myself. I talked to your president, told them the Mother chapter wanted to make sure it was dealt with accordingly so he sends me here. And boom here I am, with a very bloody you in front of what I can only suspect is your next tattoo"

"Really so just some men saying where I am makes you come and see for yourself" I laugh in disbelief "After three years that's your excuse"

"It's not an excuse" he growls

I nod and look over at him lifting an eyebrow before shaking my head, I move away from him and grab one of the rags lying around and begin wiping my hands, cursing as I see some of it's already dried. I sigh and toss the rag to the side and reach into my pockets grabbing my smokes lighting one up ignoring the fucker behind me.

"You can ignore me all you want" He drawls as though reading my thoughts "But we are dealing with this shit"

"And what shit is that" I ask turning to see him leaning against one of the walls, his eyes staring at me unblinking "The fact that three years ago you banished me or the fact that you didn't even try to fight for me or the fact that I don't want to see you at all. Which bit are we dealing with, it seems to be all building up to me"

"Stop being a fucking bitch"

"YOU FUCKING MADE ME THIS WAY" I shout throwing my hands up in the air "THIS IS ALL YOUR FUCKING FAULT"

"I don't see how" He replies calmly

"Of course not because Sons don't make mistakes do they"

I watch as he throws his hands up and turns his back on me, I watch as his Kutte rises and falls with each deep breath he takes trying to calm himself down. I laugh a little before walking towards the door to leave, the sounds of movement behind me let me know he's realised I'm moving.

"Just go" I sigh as I pull open the door

"No"

"Then have fun talking to my back"

As I step outside I see it's just starting to lighten up, a quick glance to my watch lets me know it's 4:AM. Seriously who searches for someone at this time in a morning? A hand clasps my arm before I'm spun around and once again face to face with him.

"Will you just listen to me" He pleads

"I don't want to" I say firmly "I don't want to hear the excuses, the lies or anything else you have to say"

"Why" He asks placing his hands on either side of my face to hold me firmly keeping us eye to eye "What did I do wrong?"

"What did you do right?" I reply shaking my head to release his hands and once again step away from him "You let me be banished, you allowed for me to be forced from your life and you didn't even put up a fight. Yeah I know the vote was unanimous so don't try and bullshit me. Also You gave up looking for me after five months. Did I mean so fucking little to you?"

"Nik"

"No don't just don't" I sigh walking over to my bike pulling my gloves out of my pocket, I begin putting them on sighing as I realize I'm wasting darkness. Driving anywhere with blood covering a portion of you in the daylight is a risky thing and I'm really not in the mood to try and lie my way out of a ticket or a night in jail right about now.

"You can't run Nikki"

"Watch me" I say throwing a smirk over my shoulder at him "Again"

"Nikki" He shouts and I sigh turning to look at him again

"What, what do you want me to say?" I ask

"Something more then what you have?"

"Huh considering what I've said is basically the fucking truth. I can't say anything more than that right now. What did you expect I'd see you and we'd go back to how things were three years ago is that it? Because newsflash asshole things don't work like that, not in this case anyway"

I throw my leg over my bike and begin putting on my helmet.

"I loved you"

I stop short and look at him to see he's serious and I feel tears build up at the corner of my eyes.

"Yeah I loved you too" I sigh "Goodbye Happy"

0-0-0-0-0

"So what happened between you and him?"

"What are you on about Minx?" I ask as I walk out the bathroom running a towel through my wet hair.

I see she's muddy and feel a little sorry that she had to bury my newest kill, I would have done it but I wanted out of there as fast as humanly possible. I couldn't stay there anymore.

"Between you and that dude from last night" She says shrugging "Don't brush it off babe, you and him have history it was almost rolling off him"

"It's a long story" I sigh throwing the towel onto the bed "One I'd rather not rehash"

"Well sorry babe but you might have to. Well you might have to face him at least"

"Why?" I ask raising an eyebrow

"The Reapers, well Washington seeing as they are our new Mother Chapter, they want to expand with a new chapter now we're down one thanks to Vegas being revealed as corrupt and shit"

"Yeah so what's this got to do with me?"

"Well" She says running a hand through her hair "Barney is sending you and Slash to go start that new Chapter"

"Right and"

"It's to be in either Lodi or Oakland"

"Fucking brilliant"

"Barney is only sending you two with you both being from around there originally. You from Charming and Slash originally being from Lodi"

"And how exactly does he expect us to start a chapter. You know neither of us was around when these started so we don't have the first clue"

"That's why he wants you to work with the sons"

"You're shitting me"

"No babe. Apparently the sons are on board to help you"

"Of course they are" I growl

I stalk into the bathroom and grab my brush from the sink and begin pulling it through the tangled tendrils of my hair, each rough stroke of the brush showing my level of frustration and anger. Three fucking years I've been able to avoid my past but in the space of twenty four hours it slaps me in the face not once but fucking twice.

"Just great" I whisper

Once my hairs brushed I put it up in a low ponytail and head back into the main room to see Minx watching me sheepishly.

"I'm not about to shoot anyone" I sigh "But why me and Slash. We can't be in the same room ten minutes without attempting to kill each other"

"Well"

"This is Barney's way of slowing me down isn't it" I ask locking my gaze on hers, challenging her to even deny it.

I smirk a little as I see her flinch, I knew she would know as it was common knowledge her and Barney have been banging each other for the last two years. She was always the one to relay information before Barney.

"Sorry C" she sighs "I tried to beg him to send me with you but he knew Slash"

"Would keep an eye on me" I say cutting her off

"Well yeah" She nods

"Don't worry about it" I shrug "I'll just deal with it the way I always do"

No emotions, no feelings and without a god damn fuck.

"Come on let's go get some food"

She nods and readily follows me from the room, we meet up with the boys and small glare to Barney lets him know I am beyond pissed with him and that I also know the new plan. He sends me a sympathetic look in return and I shake my head lighting up a smoke.

We walk the two blocks to the diner and as we walk up I see a familiar motorcycle parked up and sigh. I follow the others inside and my eyes scan the place landing on his face almost instantly, his eyes locked onto mine as he drinks his coffee absently. I'm the first to look away and sit in the booth Barney chooses followed by Slash, Minx and Barney opposite us. I feel his eyes on me and shiver before grabbing the menu looking it over.

"So how do you expect me and C to do this without killing each other" Slash asks starting a conversation off about mine and his next job

His eyes never leave me.

* * *

**END NOTE – SO PLEASE REVIEW AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK. COME ON I REALLY REALLY WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK.**

**Nik xxx**


	5. Being Home Sucks Donkey Balls

Not a dry eye in the house

After love's curtain comes down

Listen and you'll hear the sound

Hear the sound of a heart breaking...

I can still see you standing there

Midnight wind blowin' thorough your hair, remember

Kisses sweet in the salty air

When love was forever

Not a Dry Eye in the House – Meat Loaf

The rest of the awkward meal went okay; Slash and I hashed out some more details about the new club chapter, wanting to make sure neither of us went into this blind. We also placed all the knowledge of other clubs onto the table letting Barney know what we did about the clubs.

Lodi was home to the Grim Bastards but also the Calaveras MC and Oakland had Mayans and the One Niners, whilst we were on okay terms with the Mayans, even with me killing four of them, they kind of understood why once I explained they killed my unborn baby and I wanted Retaliation. We still couldn't risk setting up shop in either of them towns. So it was mine and Slash's job to find somewhere else suitable that would cause world war three.

I also filled Barney in on what the rat said about Hook, which ended up with me and Slash having another job. If Hook was out there then no doubt he wanted revenge on SAMCRO for killing every member of the Vegas chapter minus the girls, but as I clearly pointed out why would he wait three years for retaliation. Hook was always a shoot first ask questions never type of bloke, always had been since the day I met him. But Barney didn't want to know that so we were placed on Back up SAMCRO duty. I argued that Disney could do it, she was always there but as Barney so elegantly put it Disney didn't have the guts to kill someone. Couldn't argue with that, she was an awesome lady, I loved her like a mother but she was a soft as a pillow when it came to that shit.

So that's how me and Slash found ourselves in Disney's front room in her house in Charming surrounded by maps and blueprints of all the empty buildings in Lodi, Oakland and even Stockton. It felt weird being back in Charming and in Disney's house as though nothing had happened.

What was even weirder is D's house was down the road from my old one and as we passed it I saw it was occupied and the three bikes on the driveway didn't make me feel any better about being home either.

"So this was the dead end town you grew up in" Slash says looking at me with an eyebrow raised

"Yep" I nod "Boring isn't it"

"Yeah" he laughs "No wonder you wanted out"

I shake my head at him but stop from replying as D walks in with new beers and hands us each one before sitting on the empty recliner. Our Kutte's were over the back of the couch behind Slash and I couldn't help but notice the difference between the patches, D's still read Vegas whereas mine and Slash's had the word Nomad. But also mine had one patch the others didn't which was 'Sinner'. You only earned the 'Sinner' patch when you'd done real bad shit. The kind of shit I did on a daily basis.

"So where's your old man" Slash asks D and I tune back into the conversation

"I don't have an old man" she replies confused

"Sure you do" Slash smirks "If the marks on your neck are anything to go by. So who is he?"

"No one" she mumbles looking down and I smirk

"My dad" I say to Slash

"Seriously" he laughs "You're hooking up with C's dad"

She nods a little and I laugh along with Slash as a large blush covers her face and she begins to toy with the beer in her hand. I take a sip of my own and look at the woman I love as a mother, the woman who showed me the love a mother should give. I was always protective of D, I didn't know if that was because I didn't know my mother so I kind of adopted her as one but I knew my didn't wouldn't do anything to her and if she was happy with my dad then against my better judgement they could have my blessing.

"You two doing okay" I ask

"Yes and No" she mumbles "Shit's just been real tough what with the guys being inside and then personal shit. I don't know if we can ever be together"

"Understandable" I nod

"So this new club" Slash says changing the subject and I could almost hug him

That was one of the things Slash was good at, he could tell when she was getting awkward on beginning to go onto territory no one wanted to go so he always steered the conversation away and onto something safe. It was a talent not many people had.

"What about it?" D asks

"You going to be patching into it?"

"I'm thinking on it" D replies "This club is all I've known since I was eighteen so it's a little hard to walk away. After all I'm now classed as a lifer after passing my fifteen years"

"Patch in babe" I reply making her look at me "Think about it, it's going to be hard to get some to move down from other Chapters to make the new one so we're going to have a shit load of prospects so therefor they need a lifer to help shit go steady"

"She's right" Slash agrees

"Okay you've both bended my arm, I'll patch in when shit is sorted"

"Good"

She smiles softly and we turn our attention back to Slash as he begins reeling of the shit from his list that we need to get sorted. We've already placed a call in to the person who makes our patches to make the new ones, we just have to let him know where the club is located so he can make that one when we decide but other than that he's making us a large handful of all the other patches so the new club has them. We've also placed feelers out with all the other Chapters so that they know a new one is on its way and if anyone wants to move to it they can. So far we haven't heard shit back but mind you no one is going to put their faith in a new club that isn't completely set up yet.

"So we need premises, a cover job mostly"

"Why don't we try and do the failsafe?" D asks "You know clubhouse and garage"

"Could work" I nod "I can't remember their being many garages in Stockton"

"There aren't" She replies "Not good ones anyway. Most of the son's clients are from there and they are always complaining"

"So that's settled we'll do the garage and club thing" Slash nods

I go to agree but D's front door opening and in walking my dad stops me short, his wise eyes roam around the room, softening as they hit D before they land on me. I stare at my dad not really sure what to say. I faintly hear D asking Slash to help her with dinner and it isn't until they leave shutting the living room door behind them do I look away from my dad.

"Baby girl"

"Dad just don't" I sigh not wanting a repeat of the argument I've already had with Happy

"I missed you" he says softly sitting in the seat Slash just vacated

"I missed you too" I reply truthfully

"Where've you been" he asks "Hell how have you been?"

"Here and there" I reply staring holes into D's carpet "And you'd have known how I've been if you looked for me for longer than five fucking months"

"Nik I" he sighs and I lean forward grabbing my smokes from the table and light one, him doing the same.

"Don't give me some bullshit excuse dad, Happy tried and I shot him down" I say exhaling smoke "Plus I've been in contact with D this whole time and she has a problem with keeping shit to herself where it concerns me"

"Yeah I get that much" he laughs and I do too before looking away

I don't want to be laughing and joking with my dad, I want to be hitting him, screaming at him like I did with Happy but for some reason I can't bring myself to. Maybe it's because he's the one man in my life that has never left, minus the banishment thing, he's the one man who's never hurt me and the one man I've always looked up to.

"Why did you let me leave?" I ask softly preparing myself for his words "Why did you let me carry on running"

I know by his face he knows what I mean by my words 'why did you let me stay banished for three years'. I wanted to know, as much as it was going to no doubt hurt at the end of the day he was my father and I loved him. Leaving him was the hardest, it was easy the first time as there were no lies but the second time, the second time nearly damn near killed me.

"I don't know" he whispers and I can tell by his voice he means that.

"I went through hell daddy" I say putting out my smoke as the tears begin to fall "I needed you and you chose your god damn club over your own flesh and blood"

"I know baby" he replies his own tears clouding his eyes "I wish I was there for you I really do. I made some bad choices princess and I wish with every fibre of my being that I could take them back but I've made them and I can't change that. All I can hope is one day you don't hate me anymore"

"I could never hate you daddy" I say swiping at my fallen tears "I'm more hurt that hateful"

"I'm sorry. I know it's going to take a lot to get back into your good graces but I will fight baby, I promise you that"

I nod and he stands up placing a hand on my shoulder, the smell of leather, cigarette smoke and whiskey fill my lungs and against my will it puts me at ease, that smell is all my dad and always has been. It used to be my safety zone but now, now it feels like a small knife to the heart.

"I love you baby"

"Me too"

He smiles sadly before leaving the room, once I no longer see his back I let the tears fall freely allowing ugly pained sobs to rip themselves from the back of my throat. I lay in the chair my knees up to my chest as I let the tears fall. Wondering if I should have come home at all, I should have just stayed gone, shit was easier that way.

"You okay baby" D's voice says softly above me and I shake my head

She coos softly before climbing into the chair next to me and pulls me into her arms wrapping them tightly around me as I cry freely on her shoulder. I clutch her shirt to me as I listen to her soft words spoken in my ear and pull her scent into my system, my other safety blanket.

"I don't know what to do D"

"You'll figure it out baby" she coos "You always do and it's always the right choice"

"I haven't made any of them in a while" I mumble swiping at my face but giving up as more tears replace the ones I swipe away

"Nicole Ann Marie Telford you listen to me" She chastises but doesn't release her grip on me "You are a god damn survivor. Yeah you manipulate a situation but you don't do it for yourself you do it to make sure everyone is safe. And yeah most people don't understand that but they don't fucking matter okay. You do make the right decisions okay and when it comes to that broken heart of yours you will again make the right decision"

I smile softly "Thanks D"

"You're welcome baby" she whispers before placing a soft kiss to my hair and pulls me closer "Now let's get you sorted, Slash is cooking"

"He'll burn your house down" I joke wanting to lighten the situation

"He can buy me a new one then"

"Oh he'll love that" I laugh

"He's a male baby, they hate giving a woman their money"

I nod and sit up a little bit, my tears starting to dry and I look over at D to see the look of a mother on her face, I take a deep breathe not wanting to cry anymore and smile softly.

"So what's the plan for tonight?"

"We are going to stay in, eat good homemade food, watch crappy TV and get drunk"

"Sounds great"

She nods and stands up holding out a hand to me, I take it and let her help me stand as we're standing, me a little taller than D. She pulls me into a soft hug.

"I love you baby"

"Love you too D"

We pull apart and she wipes at my face one more time before I follow her into the kitchen where Slash is cutting vegetables, an apron wrapped around his muscular body that reads 'kiss the chef' his attention straying to some of the pans cooking on the stove every now and then and I realize I might just be able to get through the shit about to land on my doorstep.

Maybe.

* * *

**END NOTE – I LIKE FIONA DON'T GET ME WRONG BUT IN THIS STORY SHE DOESN'T EXIST AS I KIND OF WANT CHIBS AND D TOGETHER, SO YEAH NO FIONA, NO KERRIANNE WHICH MEANS NIK IS CHIBS' ONLY DAUGHTER. DON'T JUDGE ME OKAY.**

**ANYWAYS I HAVE A QUESTION OR TWO TO ASK.**

**FIRSTLY – WOULD YOU GUYS EVER READ A STORY BETWEEN D AND CHIBS? I'M THINKING OF WRITING THEM ONE THAT FALLS BETWEEN WHERE DO I BELONG AND THIS STORY. **

**SECONDLY – SHOULD NIK PATCH OVER TO THE NEW CLUB TOO OR SHOULD SHE FOREVER BE A NOMAD. I'M KIND OF TORN ON WHAT TO DO SO I WANT YOUR VIEWS.**

**LET ME KNOW PLEASE AND ALSO AS USUAL REVIEW!**

**THE REVIEWS ARE DWINDLING AGAIN AND I REALLY REALLY WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK OF THIS STORY.**


	6. Killer's Don't Cry

**AUTHOR'S NOTE PLEASE READ DON'T IGNORE IT.**

**Okay so I must love you guys as I only had three reviews on the last chapter but I've still gone and posted this one as I love you guys that review but I'm starting to wonder if you guys even like the story. This goes for my other stories as well 'Eyeliner Eyes and my new one'. Come on guys you can't deny I update frequently, at least every day. But if you don't review I might just cut back on that.**

**REVIEWING TAKES FIVE MINUTES. So please just let me know what you think. Reviews are appreciated and I love reading them all. So please leave one.**

* * *

I've got nothing left to live for

Got no reason yet to die

But when I'm standing in the gallows

I'll be staring at the sky

Because no matter where they take me

Death I will survive

And I will never be forgotten

With you by my side

Cause I don't need this life

I just need…

Somebody to Die for - Hurts

The day after my very emotional breakdown in the arms of Disney found myself and Slash in Stockton browsing for possible club locations. So far we had driven to every abandoned area and had even asked local police where somewhere, we simply said we wanted to build a garage. It worked due to the fact we left our Kutte's at D's house. No need to piss off the police before the charter moves in, that wouldn't be a good idea.

Disney was at the Son's clubhouse asking some of their original members how they built a clubhouse and due to D's very persuasive nature she was getting a lot further than me and Slash.

"Come on let's get some food" I call over to him

He nods and we pull into a diner and park our bikes and climb off heading inside, the smell of apples assaults my nose the minute we walk in.

"Well that's refreshing" Slash jokes

I chuckle along with him as we climb into a booth near the back and each grab a menu. A bouncy waitress comes over and immediately sets her sights on Slash and him being the playboy he is eats the attention right up.

"I'd rather not be sick thanks" I drawl

"Sorry C"

We order our food and the waitress walks off with a last flirtatious smile at Slash, I shake my head and pull some papers from my jacket pocket and begin looking them over.

"So I was thinking that spot near the Stockton border seems like a good place"

"I was thinking that too" I agree "It's near the border, no one will question the garage and it would be easier to go straight on runs due to not having to go through town"

"Yeah exactly" he nods

The waitress walks back over with our coffee's and I sigh as I look over at the back wall, images forming in my mind of the clubhouse. In some sick way I could even picture myself being a part of that charter; I'd be close to my dad. We could work on our fucked up father daughter relationship. I shake my head as the food is placed in front of us and smirk as I see the napkin near Slash's plate.

"She finishes at four" I murmur as he tucks in

"Come again" he replies round a mouthful of food

I reach forward and tug the napkin from under his plate and show it to him, a big smile stretches over his face and I just know what his plans are for the night.

"Don't bring her to D's" I sigh "She'll kill you"

"I won't" he smirks

The rest of the meal is spent with me trying to ignore Slash as he pulls all the looks and tricks at the waitress. As I finish I sigh and throw my napkin onto the table and drink the last bit of my coffee.

"See ya when you're done"

"Yeah okay" he replies not looking at me "Wait you going to be okay?"

"Slash I have my gun, any fucker jumps me I'll drop em" I shrug "You focus on your booty call and I'll focus on me. Yeah"

"Yeah okay" he nods "Send me a text when you're back at D's so I know your okay"

"What's with all the serious shit from you lately?"

"C" he sighs "Hook is out there somewhere and he wants revenge. You were a part of his charter so therefor he might want revenge on you too. So please cut me some slack"

"Okay, okay I'll text you when I'm back at D's"

He nods and I sigh as I walk out the diner and back over to my bike climbing on and putting on my helmet, as I start my bike I see through the diner windows that Slash has moved to the counter and is now full out flirting with the poor woman.

"God help you sweetheart" I whisper before pulling out of the parking lot and onto the road that will take be back to Charming.

As I pull up to D's house I sigh as I see Happy sat on her front steps, his eyes lock on mine as he hears my bike. I pull into the driveway and park next to his bike and cut off the engine.

"Who you waiting for" I ask, a stupid question but I needed something to cut the tension that had started to form

"You"

"Of course you are" I mumble as I take off my helmet and climb off the bike. I quickly grab my phone and text Slash that I'm home.

I walk towards him and then straight past and grab the spare key from my pocket and unlock the door, I walk in leaving the door open knowing he'll just follow me. Either that or stay outside until I answer him and I don't fancy D having a go at me for being an ignorant bitch.

"Do you want a beer" I ask pulling open the fridge, at his quiet answer as he shuts the door I know something is on his mind.

I had him his beer and jump up onto the kitchen side as he walks over to the kitchen table and sits down, the two of us sip our beers quietly before I can't take the tension anymore.

"So what did you want me for?"

"I want to talk"

"Happy I've said all I wanted to say?" I sigh

"But I haven't" he replies "Just let me talk okay and then you can shout at me"

I nod and watch as he takes a deep breath, I give him the moment to collect his thoughts and lean over dragging the ashtray closer as I light up a smoke, this strange feeling in the back of my head telling me it might not be my first smoke by the time he's done talking.

"I remember when you walked into my life, I knew I couldn't have you that you were off limits with being Chib's daughter but I didn't care. Something about you, something you were hiding at the time appealed to me and I just had to have a taste. I remember on that first day when I mentioned Chaos wasn't a good killer, something flickered in your eyes. It passed so quick I thought I imagined it but I know now, it was you challenging me"

"At the party you played my game and met me word for word and I respected you a little. You didn't back down and I admired that but it made me want you even more. When you punched me I thought I'd finally found someone who could challenge me. It was weird as I'd just met you but that was my thoughts when I lay with you in the bed that night"

He chuckles and takes another sip of his beer and I wipe the tears that had started to fall as I light another cigarette, wondering what the hell any of this means.

"Those months were some of the, lack of a better word happiest moments I'd felt in a while. But on that night you'd gotten taken and when my eyes landed on your broken and beaten body I felt something shift in me. I felt as though I had to protect you for as long as you'd let me, but no only that love you again if you'd let me. I called you my old lady yes to save your life but as time went on I realized I wanted you as my old lady. I know we never brought it up but that was again my thoughts"

"In those six months we'd spent together I hadn't even looked at another girl, I ignored everyone on runs and instead thought of you. I knew you'd be in your house waiting for me and I used to picture what you'd be doing, wondering if you were laughing with the guys at work or if you were sitting at home watching one of them ridiculous films and for me that was what got me through each run. I knew I was coming home to you"

"Happy" I whisper but he puts up a hand stopping me

"When your dad revealed everything I…I hated you, I hated you for entering my life. I wanted to kill you, god help me I wanted to make you hurt in the most evilest of ways"

I gasp and he brings his eyes up to mine and stares at me "But the memories of the six months stopped me, which is why I agreed to the banishment. I agreed because I hated you but I couldn't kill you either"

"Awesome" I whisper

"But after Disney came with that proof I felt like a fucking idiot and I was the one who looked for you the most but when we killed Bumble and he told me what happened to our baby I…i couldn't face you which is why I gave you looking. I couldn't face the fact that I'd again caused you more pain by not being there as you lost our baby after banishing you from my life."

"Yes I could have done more" he sighs "But I didn't want you to hate me anymore then you probably already did"

My tears catch in my throat at this last words and I remember they are nearly identical to the words I said to my dad before I told him the truth. I move my gaze away from Happy and look down at the kitchen floor. I see his boots walk into my line of vision and lift my head to look at him.

"I understand if you can never go back to the way we were Nik" he sighs "But know you are all I've thought of for the last three years and will probably be the only girl I ever care for that way"

He grabs my hand and I watch as he places in a familiar set of keys before walking out of the kitchen, the front door opening and closing lets me know he's left. I look down at the keys and let the ugly sobs loose from my throat again. It seems all I'm doing lately is fucking crying. I'm meant to be a killer but all I'm doing is fucking crying.

I jump off the kitchen counter and head out the front door and look down the street to see Happy head round the corner completely forgoing my old house. I turn and lock the door to D's and walk down the street towards my old house, as I walk near the old memories begin assaulting me making me feel a wide range of emotions.

I walk up to the front door and unlock it and walk inside, a gasp of shock leaves my lips as I see it's exactly like I left it. A bit cleaner which is probably Gemma's doing but it's still the same. I walk through the downstairs part of the house looking over everything. I head upstairs and into the old master bedroom where even more memories assault me, these ones being nowhere near PG rating. I head over to the drawers and pull them open to see my clothes are still here but none of Happy's.

"Must be back at the clubhouse" I whisper

I grab the necklace from my neck and grab the small key unlocking the locked drawer and begin taking things out throwing them onto the bed. Once they're all out I walk over to the bed and sit down and begin looking at the items. Some of them memories of my childhood, some pictures of me, Jax and Ope messing around as kids and some newer ones of my six months here before everything was revealed.

"Sometimes I really fucking hate being me" I whisper to the empty room as I continue looking over my memories

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**END NOTE – THIS CHAPTER WROTE ITSELF SO YEAH IF IT SEEMS A BIT CHEESY SO BE IT. NO ONE REALLY THOUGHT OF WHAT HAPPY WAS THINKING SO THIS WAS ME TRYING TO RELAY THAT. BUT DON'T WORRY A LOT MORE DRAMA IS COMING UP BETWEEN THESE TWO. BASICALLY BECAUSE I JUST LOVE THEM HAVING DRAMA. CHAOS IS TOO STUBBORN FOR THERE NOT TO BE.**

**THE CHIBS AND DISNEY STORY IS UP, IT'S CALLED 'I DON'T BELIEVE IN FAIRYTALES'. SO IF YOU WANT TO READ IT YOU CAN.**

**REVIEW PLEASE.**


	7. Former Friends Make The Worst Enemies

**Authors Note – Sorry for the lateness of this chapter…Real Life got in the way and is still getting in the way so my updates might be a little messed up for a while.**

**Anyway thanks for all the reviews…Keep them coming please.**

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A blank stare with a smile on display

Headed home when it's empty and safe

Anger over takin' my faith

I don't think it should be this way

Some people say I need to pray

Feels like it's me against the world

I've been turned out

Been thrown down

To the killing floor (Down to the killing floor)

Killing Floor – Black Stone Cherry

It had been about three months since Happy had told me his thoughts on everything, to say I was surprised he told me would be an understatement. I'd always got the feeling that Happy didn't do emotions but I guess I was wrong, I guess he really was just like me and wore a mask to keep his true self hidden. But I still have no idea how or if I'll ever be able to forgive him for his betrayal, but the future works in ways we don't understand so I guess I'll just have to see how the ride takes us.

Luckily in these last few months I didn't have any run-in's with the sons as Slash and D dealt with them and making sure that Hook wasn't out there trying to kill them. No such luck as Hook was mainly sticking to all the areas outside of Charming, a few of our charters and Son's charters had spotted him but each time as they went to go get him he was long gone. I didn't know what game he was playing but it was really starting to piss me off, I hated this looking over my shoulder crap, I've done it once I so didn't want to do it again.

Luckily Slash and I had something to take our mind of Hook's games and that was the building of the new charter. We'd bought that space and the clubhouse and garage were well on their way to being built. Some of the other charters had lent money to the build, each one of them knowing that starting one up was hell and cost a shit ton of money. Luckily though Slash had started to spread the word about the new garage so the minute it was finished it looked like there was going to be quite a few customers. But that was still six months away from being completed.

"C"

"Kitchen D" I reply to her shout

She comes running in and I lower the cup of coffee that I was lifting to my lips and look over at her worried.

"Tinker's dead" she cries

I gasp as he words hit me "What happened?"

"I don't know" she says dropping into the chair opposite me "I got a call from Wolf saying she'd been found strung up from some empty barn's rafters with a god damn Hook carved in her arm."

"A hook?" I ask and she nods "Shit"

"What" Disney asks confused and I try not to laugh at her blonde moment "A hook carved into her arm means only one thing D, well it means only one person is responsible"

"Hook" she gasps finally twigging on

"Yeah" I nod "But why go after Tinker?"

"I might have an answer to that"

Me and D look up as Slash walks in and sits at the table with us throwing a newspaper on the table, the main headline being Tinker's murder. I shudder as I glance over the details before averting my eyes and instead looking at Slash.

"Right so let's just say Hook was a part of a charter that was soon revealed to be corrupt and shit right, the other charters allowed another outside club to clean up said charter but leaves all the females alive" He says looking between both me and D "What will he think about that. His fellow men were killed, he managed to escape somehow but there is the woman of the charter still alive and in some cases are now a part of different charters"

"He's going to blame us" D says before I can

"You got it babe" he sighs "You girls are just as to blame as the sons in Hook's eyes"

"So we need to get the other girls safe"

"I've just called Wolf and told him to lock down the girls" Slash says lighting a smoke and handing one to both me and D "He's going to get them all to Washington where he can keep an eye on them"

I exhale my smoke and nod; It was still weird to think of Washington being our new mother charter, even after three and a half years. But Wolf was one of the original Hell's Reapers so he knew how to run shit and make sure that every member, no matter what charter they were from was safe. I sigh as I lean back in my chair and look over at my two friends, all of us feeling the weight of Hook's actions and all of us wondering how we can stop him before another member, be it old lady or patched, ends up dead by his hands leaving us to clean up the mess.

"What's our next move" D asks looking between the two enforcers sitting at her kitchen table, it always made me smile that she could welcome us with open arms even after she knew we'd just killed someone.

Hell the whole time I'd been here I was still killing people for the club but she didn't question it, she simply arranged the tattooist so that I could get my little birds on my skin. I think if I'm not mistaken since landing in charming I'd gotten around 10 new birds, 9 new ones and the one I hadn't gotten yet for killing the Son's rat.

"Well Hook knows how C works so he'll know exactly how to avoid landing on her radar" Slash replies after thinking "I've worked with him a few times so he might know my way of working as well"

"He's playing a cat and mouse game but I know Hook, he always messes up, gets too cocky and tries to show he's better than everyone else. So it might not be the best plan but we need to wait it out and see what his next move is"

"Yeah you just might be right C"

"I don't want to be" I sigh

We all fall silent as we think on not only the game Hook is playing but also Tinker's murder, yeah she was a patched member as well as an old lady but she was the one who was always kept out of shit. Bumble made god damn sure that she was the blind one, the one who if she went down she was the cleanest one of us all. He did love her but god damn was she in the dark on just about everything. Hook knew that, he knew Tinker never knew anything so why kill her and why kill her in such a horrible manner.

Oh shit, he was sending a message to me. I reach forward and grab the newspaper reading the details on how she died and I almost throw up the food I ate earlier, the way she was killed is sort of the way I kill someone who has betrayed the club. The message wasn't for the other members of the club; the message was for me and me alone. Me who he blames for the destruction for the club, his lifeline and the only thing he's known.

Well this is just fantastic.

My phone rings with a text message and I sigh taking It out of my pocket and see it's from an unknown number, I frown but as I read it I realize what it is. It's the code Barney uses for when we have to kill someone. I memorise the digits and open the map app on my phone and enter them seeing the location is just outside of Charming and stand from the table.

"I'll be back later" I say looking at D and Slash

They nod and I walk towards the front door, grabbing my gun and keys from the small table there. I make sure my gun is loaded and place it in my holster under my arm and grab my Kutte throwing it on. I step out the door and walk over to my bike, my mask slipping into place.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

As I pull up to the location of the text I immediately know something is wrong, I turn off my bike and step off walking towards the barn cautiously. Before opening the barn door I pull my gun out and slip off the safety. I take a deep breath and pull open the door levelling my gun as I look around.

"Chaos you've arrived"

The voice that calls chills me and I keep my gun levelled as I walk further in, my face betraying nothing as it falls on Hook and then my eyes look around. I almost slip as I see my dad laid on the floor, his face bloody and beaten, his hand gripping his right shoulder where if I'm not mistaken a gunshot wound is.

"Having some kind of party" I drawl ignoring the two goons with Hook as i look at Hook.

"Well I was wondering how to get your attention" he replies "But then I remembered you've always been a daddy's girl"

"You're sadly mistaken about that" I reply keeping my voice level "I haven't cared about my dad for around three years now"

"Oh well then you won't care if we kill him"

"What do you want?" I growl my fingers twitching over the trigger as I keep the goons in the corner of my eye

"I want you to suffer the way I have suffered" he says standing up and begins pacing "You took everything from me and what have you lost huh?" he asks

"Enough" I sigh

"No you haven't" he shouts "You haven't lost anything, you can still wear that Kutte, you can still laugh with your friends, you can still be loved by your loved ones but I can't"

I notice his movements before he makes them and just as he levels his gun on me and pulls the trigger I jump to the side and roll behind a hay bale, I poke my head up and shoot one of the first goons in the head, cursing as I see the other one and Hook running out the back of the barn. I come out from where I was hiding and run over to my dad.

"Kill them baby" he rasps "Make them hurt"

I jump up and run after Hook and the goon and see them running towards their bikes, I raise my gun and pull the trigger smirking as my bullet hits the other goon in the back of the head cracking it open like an egg but before I can do the same to Hook he's gone a cloud of smoke the only thing left behind his bike.

"Shit"

I turn on my foot and run back to my dad, skidding down onto my knees and look over him. He sends me a weak smile and I curse as I see the loss of blood starting to set in and bring unconsciousness with it.

"Hang on dad" I say as I begin digging in his pockets for his phone. "I'm phoning Clay"

"No, call Jackie-Boy" he replies weakly and it's then that my eyes land on the V.P patch on his Kutte.

"Okay" I bite out pressing the call button on Jax's name

"Hello"

"Jax its Nik, look my dad has been shot by Hook and he is in a bad way I need you to send someone right now"

"Where are you?" Jax bites out and I can hear him moving

I tell him where I am and he reassures me people are on their way. I smile weakly at my dad as I end the call and relay Jax's words to him. I replace his hands with my own, my dad's blood soaking into the leather of my gloves as I try to stem the bleeding.

"I love you baby" My dad whispers and I look over at him "I want you to know that even if you can't forgive me for what I did"

"I love you too dad" I say back just as quietly "But you aren't dying on me today okay. You are going to be fine and then we will start getting this shit dealt with"

I watch helplessly as my dad falls unconscious and I try my hardest to keep the tears under control as I press harder on my dad's wounds. The sound of bikes as well as a van alerts me to the others and I almost sigh in relief as Tig and Opie run in and over to me.

"You okay Nik Noo?" Opie asks

"Will be" I nod

Tig and Opie lift my dad as I keep my hands on his wound, I walk with them towards the van as they lower my dad down I turn to Tig.

"You go with him" he whispers locking me in his blue eyed gaze "I rode in the van so I'll ride your bike back. But he'll want you with him"

I nod and climb into the back with my dad, my hands never straying from his wound. Opie nods at me, his look sympathetic as he shuts the van door and slams his hands onto it to tell the prospect at the front to start it up.

"Drive fast please" I say to the prospect who just nods at me in the rear view mirror and does as I ask.

Five minutes later I look out the front window as we pull up to Teller-Morrow and the prospect drives the van inside and parks it. I blink as the doors are thrown open and there stands Jax the sun shining on him making it look as though he is glowing.

"You okay?" he asks looking at me

"Yeah" I nod "But my dad isn't"

I jump out the van and help Jax get my dad out, another person runs forward and I see that it is Slash. I nod at him and he returns it as the three of us carry my dad inside and into the chapel area where Tara is. She looks at me and gasp and I bite my lip to keep my comments to myself as we lay my dad down onto the table that had been changed into some sort of operating table.

"He's been passed out for about ten minutes" I say "I don't know when he get shot as when I got there he already had all his wounds"

"Okay" she says pulling on her gloves "don't worry Nikki, I'll save your dad"

"You better"

Jax leads me out of the room and shuts the door behind us before leading me over to the bar and sits me down on a stool. D walks forward and pulls my bloody gloves off my hands, her eyes averted and I know my dad being injured hurts her just as much as it does me. Once my gloves are off Tig hands me a glass and from the smell it's whiskey. I throw it back revelling in the burn before handing the glass to Tig for another.

As Tig refills my glass I look around to see that everyone but three people are here, I look at Jax confused.

"Happy and Juice stayed at the barn to burn the two bodies you shot. We don't need you getting sent to prison and Clay is in hospital"

"It was Happy who wanted to burn the bodies' princess. It was him who wants to make sure you don't get sent to Prison" Tig says "So make sure to thank him won't you"

"Yeah" I nod not really listening

I look at everyone's patches to see they've changed, Jax is now President, Tig is no longer SGT. At Arms and Bobby is also missing his Secretary Patch. Well it would seem in the last three months shit had defiantly changed. Hopefully for the better.

"Who was it?" Opie asks "Who hurt Chibs"

"Hook" I growl "That fucker blames me for the destruction of the Vegas charter"

"And Tinker" D whispers

"She was killed in a way I normally kill those that had betrayed the club, minus the Hook carved into her arm" I sigh "So that was another message to me, just like today was"

"What message?" Jax asks

"That he is going to kill everyone I care for" I say quietly "Make me feel all kinds of pain before he finally puts me to ground"

I don't listen as murmuring breaks out around me instead I neck the new shot Tig gave me before standing and walking over to where my dad is. Tara doesn't say anything as I enter the room and stand near my dad, my hand clasping around one of his. I stand there in silence as I watch her work to clean my dad up, my hand holding his tightly my resolve hardening as I realize I'll have to put Hook down before he hurts anyone else.

Even if I die trying to do it.

* * *

**End Note – It might seem a little long but I wanted to make sure you had a long one to make up for my lack of updating. So PLEASE REVIEW. And I'll try and update soon.**


	8. A War Is Coming

**REVIEW PLEASE…REVIEWS KEEP ME WRITING AS THEN I KNOW YOU GUYS LIKE IT. SO PLEASE, FIVE MINUTES OF YOUR TIME FOR ONE SIMPLE REVIEW.**

* * *

Yeah, it's where the fight begins

Yeah, underneath the skin

Beneath these hopes and where we've been

Every fight comes from the fight within

I am the war inside

I am the battle line

I am the rising tide

I am the war I fight

Eyes open, open wide

I can feel like a crack in my spine

I can feel like the back of my mind

I am the war inside

War Inside - Switchfoot

My dad woke up a few hours later, Tara had done a good job of patching him up and if he rested enough and didn't do any strenuous activities he was going to be fine. Even though I knew my dad was going to be okay, hell he even told me the same words over and over, I couldn't help the hatred bubbling through my veins, or the images of the worst torture to fill my head with each victim of said torture being Hook. I may not like my dad at this current moment thanks to his betrayal but the love I had for the man ran deep, deep into my bones. And no one went after my dad, no one used him as a weapon to get to me and fucking lived. I'll make sure of that.

"Nik"

I turn to Jax and I notice the shiver run over his body as he looks at me, Tig, D and Happy are stood behind him and I see the same shiver run over Tig. Happy looks at me, an unrecognizable look in his eye but I catch them running up and down my body, a ghost of a smirk lifts the left corner of his mouth.

"The men I killed" I question, my voice blank and void of emotion

"Burned and buried" Happy replies "No one will find them; if they do they won't be recognized"

I nod and glance back to my dad, he was asleep on the bed in his dorm thanks to some painkillers Tara gave him. It was actually hilarious to listen to him when he tried speaking not long after he had them, but the time for laughter was gone. Now it was time to find that son of a bitch and put him to fucking ground.

"Hook" I say almost growl as I spin back to the audience

"Gone" D says and I have to compliment her on her steel balls, right now I had my Chaos mask firmly in place but she didn't back down, even though I could see flickers of fear in her eyes "I've got all the feelers out so if he even pops his head out for some air, we'll know"

"Good" I say walking towards them, they part and allow me to walk past.

I hear them as they follow me into the bar, I pick up the shot of whiskey I let sitting there and down it, the liquid leaving a trail of fire down my throat. I click my fingers and the prospect pours me a new one and watches as I down that one too and quickly refills my glass back up. I hold it in my hands as I turn to see the four of them had followed me and where stood silently behind me.

"What" I bark

"We want to help?" Jax starts but I hold a hand up to stop him

"No" I shake my head and let a vicious sigh past my lips "Hook is my problem and it will be me that is dealing with him"

"Nikki"

"Jax answer me a question. When Abel was taken what did you feel?" I start raising an eyebrow as I watch him stiffen "Did you feel like you'd kill anyone? Did you feel like you were a failure? Well newsflash bucko that's what I feel like but a whole lot worse. Your son was taken, yes to hurt you but he came out unscathed, hell he probably won't even remember that it ever happened. But my dad, my dad was taken and hurt to send a fucking message to me, so it will be me and me alone that fucking replies. Do you understand?"

I watch as Tig and Jax slowly nod, D sighs before nodding as well. My eyes land on Happy and I see a challenge rise up in his eyes and I feel butterflies fucking dance in my stomach at the intensity of his look. I knew he wouldn't let me do this alone but he hasn't got a fucking choice.

"Just go with it Happy"

"No" he growls

The others back away and I see every other head in the clubhouse turn to look at us, from the corner of my eye I see Slash stand up and his hand travel to his back where no doubt he has his gun, the safety already off waiting for a problem to arise. I nod weakly and watch as his hand moves but his eyes stay trained on Happy his fingers twitching as though challenging Happy to even think about doing something he'd regret.

"Why?" I ask back calmly, too calm

"You could get yourself killed?"

Well no shit Sherlock

"That's the plan?" I shrug "Rather I die on my terms then Hook's. He's going to kill me either way, so why not do it my way and bring the fucker down with me. You can't stop me Happy, you don't own me"

"No I might now own you" he states "But I help you"

"I don't need help"

"Are you on some suicide mission?" he laughs with no humour "Or is this your way of throwing a big fuck you to me and everyone else for what we did three years ago"

"I've already done that when I stayed away for three fucking years. This isn't about anything but proving to that psycho bastard that he can't come after my family and expect to live"

I watch as Happy's face changes, before I can blink he's taken the two steps towards me, his hand coming behind my head and gripping in my hair. I watch confused as he leans down and slams his lips against mine, the moment of agony gives way to pleasure as the lips I've missed mould against mine. I try to fight against the kiss but it's only when the taste of copper meets my tongue do I find the strength to pull out of his grip.

"Kiss me again like that, against my wishes and I will put a bullet between your eyes"

I down the shot in my hand hissing as it hits the cut in my lip and slam the glass onto the bar, before storming out of the clubhouse, footsteps sound behind me and I throw a look over my shoulder to see Slash following me. The two of us climb onto our bikes in silence but as I'm putting my helmet on I see Slash throwing sideways glances to me. I smile reassuringly and watch as the tension leaves his shoulders.

"You good C"

"No" I sigh "I won't be good until Hook is in an unmarked grave"

"Or Fuck Happy?" He smirks starting his bike up

"What do you mean?" I ask

"C if I could bottle up the sexual tension between the two of you I'd be a fucking millionaire"

I join in with his laughter as I start up my bike and we head out of the parking lot and onto the street, Slash drops back a little and lets me lead. Something he's been doing for a while now, yet in the ranks of Nomad's he's higher than me. I leave him be and lead us back to D's house. As we walk in I throw my Kutte over the sofa and look at him.

"What's happening C?" Slash asks closing the door "What's our next move. You might have fed that bullshit to Happy about not getting involved but you can't peddle it to me"

"Call Wolf" I sigh "We need those that are willing to patch to Stockton here now"

"Why?" Slash asks getting his phone out of his pocket

"Those goons I shot that were with Hook, they aren't just random people. They were prospects, they did their prospecting with me but didn't get patched in I did. If Hook is willing to get two pissed off people who didn't get patched in, how many of our enemies can he get on his side?"

"Shit"

"Yeah and that's not the kicker?"

"What is?" Slash asks

"Vegas had an open door kind of thing. We kicked out as many people as we patched in, there are going to be a lot of pissed off people who want revenge"

"And Hook is leading them" Slash replies dropping onto the sofa running his hands through his hair

"Yeah" I say as I walk over to the chair facing him "He's already proven he doesn't give a shit who lives or dies. He doesn't care which family member he goes after, as long as his revenge is done he doesn't give two shits"

"We put him and anyone working with him to ground"

The two of us sit in silence as my words leave a heavy burden on our shoulders, it's hard enough that our new enemy is an ex brother but having to face the prospect of killing one, no matter my anger is something you don't tread on lightly.

"What about the sons?"

"No" I shake my head vehemently "They are already broken as it is, with the change of leader and all the deaths at their door. We can't bring them into this. This is our fight"

"C your dad is one of theirs"

"I know that Slash, fucking hell I grew up with that club which is why I can't bring them into this fight. I am most likely going to die, that's Hook's end game. I can't have their blood on my hands. They mean too much to me"

"Happy won't let you go into this alone"

I look at him and raise an eyebrow to which he sighs and looks to the ceiling before levelling his gaze back on me.

"D is rather chatty when she's drunk"

"Yeah and?"

"She told me all about what you did C, the blackmail, the double agent, your happiness with Happy and your banishment"

"That's ancient history"

"It's only been three years" Slash says softly "Don't you think it's time to bury it"

"I have buried it" I growl standing up

"Clearly you haven't. We were tasked with protecting them C but you've been running from them, taking on extra jobs Barney and Wolf send you just so you don't have to spend time with the sons. If you'd buried it C you would be getting to know your dad again, as the true you"

"True me?" I ask

"You know what I mean, his daughter and a killer. You need your dad C, I saw that in your face when we opened the van and your hands were covered in his blood. Hell I think it's the first time I have ever seen you down right scared"

"Too much has happened"

"No that's not it and you know it. You are just scared that they aren't going to accept that you kill people and are good at it. You don't want to let them in because you don't want them to become weaknesses. You have probably deep down already forgiven them for their betrayal but your lying and saying you haven't to hide from the truth"

"You don't know what you're talking about"

"I do C"

"Look just drop it" I sigh "Let's deal with one thing at a time, like the oncoming war"

"Ok"

As Slash walks out of the room his cell phone to his ear I drop back onto the chair, when I'd stood up I don't know. I let his words ring through my head and can't help but wonder if there is some truth in it. Am I holding my family at arm's length because I don't want them to be a weakness and I'm also scared that they won't accept me. Or am I still hurting over what they did.

Sometimes I hate Slash, he can speak a whole lot of fucking sense which leaves you with your world upside fucking down and you begin to doubt yourself and the shit you think you know. I stand back up and head into the kitchen and pull a beer out of the fridge as Slash walks back in from outside.

"We've got four bodies coming?" He says grabbing himself a beer "Wolf is going to try and get some more, as well as some other bodies to help us out from different charters. He also said to remove Hook from the picture under the radar"

"The four bodies can stay at my house down the road; I won't be using it for a while. And under the radar, what I have planned that might be a little hard"

Slash nods and hold out his beer to me "To War" he smirks

"To War" I reply the same smirk and haunted look in my eye.


	9. Who Am I?

**AGAIN REAL LIFE GOT IN THE WAY..SO SORRY BUT HOPE YOU ENJOY AS I DON'T REALLY LIKE THIS CHAPTER.**

And I'm staring down the barrel of a 45,

Swimming through the ashes of another life

No real reason to accept the way things have changed

Staring down the barrel of a 45

Send a message to the unborn child

Keep your eyes open for a while

In a box high up on the shelf, left for you, no one else

There's a piece of a puzzle known as life

Wrapped in guilt, sealed up tight

45 - Shinedown

When I became a killer I learnt the hard lesson that emotions get you killed, so I learnt to shut them all out. Love, family and trust, the three things I didn't need. They were complications and I didn't need them. I needed to focus on my job and nothing more; I didn't need to think at every turn if everyone was alive, that wasn't my job. Yeah I tossed around the words 'Love you brother, Love you sister' to my fellow club members but that was more of a respect thing, I didn't love them, I wouldn't cry if any of them got killed. I just didn't care.

When I came to charming on my supposed job I had to let all those emotions back in so that I could play the daughter role, I had to love people, I had to trust them and I had trust my family. Because that's who I was when I left and that was who they expected to see return. I hated every god damn minute of it. Even when I was with Happy and falling in love I hated it, I had this sense of foreboding as though I knew that allowing my emotions back in would end badly, it would end with me being the one hurt whilst someone else just sat back and laughed. Funnily enough that is exactly what fucking happened.

When I left Charming after the people I was supposed to trust hurt me in ways I could never describe, they threw me out like I was simply a piece of meat for a dog. I locked my emotions back up tighter than a pair of nun's knickers. I wasn't letting my emotions lead my decisions anymore, I wasn't let my emotions decide how I played things out and what was right or wrong. Yeah I became a bitch and people where questioning if I was even human, but I was alive and to me that's all that fucking mattered.

Yet now as I'm back in charming I'm confused as to what role I'm supposed to be playing, I'm torn between being emotionless and blanking my dad or trying to find a middle ground between all the faces I wear. Deep down I have forgiven everyone for what they did, I'd have done the same thing. But I can't forget and I can **NEVER** trust them again. That isn't the killer me talking, that is the true me talking, I don't trust many people as it is, hell I don't trust Disney fully but what they did it makes me question how easy it would be for them to put a knife in my back again in the future.

My phone rings breaks me from my musings and I reach into my Kutte and answer the call without looking who it is.

"Yeah"

"We've got a problem boss" the voice on the other end says

I try and tamper down the growl building in my throat at Shy's words, ever since him, Wheel's, Diesel and Queenie came to Charming to help us with the Hook situation they've taken to calling me boss, even fucking Slash and D are doing it. As though I'm their fucking president, which I fucking aren't. I'm a god damn Nomad who doesn't even know if she's patching over to Stockton. I shy and decide to answer normally, Shy isn't one to ring unless it is important.

"Speak to me"

"The Sons have captured someone who's working with Hook"

I do growl at those words, how many fucking times do I have to tell them to stay out of my business.

"Shy I want you and Diesel to go to the sons Clubhouse and fucking tell them to stay out of it, rough a few of them up if you have to. This isn't their fight"

"You got it boss" He replies "Oh I have the location of where the snitch is with a son"

"Give it to me"

He tells me it and I think on the location, remembering that there's an abandoned warehouse out there before starting my bike up ready to go and deal with this shit.

"Their enforcer is with him, Happy I think I heard his name was"

"I got it Shy" I reply coldly "You go deal with the interfering assholes"

"Gladly"

As I close the phone I can't help but feel sorry for the sons, He might be called Shy but he was far from it. He was an enforcer with a sick side and when you placed him with Diesel well there wasn't even a fucking grave big enough when the two of them are done. I place on my helmet after returning my phone to my pocket and head in the direction of the abandoned warehouse.

I pull up and notice that there is only one bike which means it's only Happy. I smirk and climb off the bike not even reaching for my gun as I head to the doors and kick them in. I watch as Happy and the snitch look up at me, Happy with a blank face and the snitch with eyes wider then a saucer.

"Honey I'm home" I drawl as I saunter inside

"I didn't expect you" Happy replies watching me with a questioning look

"Oh come on" I say as I stop in front of him and notice just the weapon I need out the corner of my eye "You're torturing some son of a bitch, of course I'm getting involved in that shit"

I watch as he eyes me, my left hand inching to the side as he goes to say something I whip the piece of pipe around connecting it with the side of his head. I watch indifferent as he falls forward unconscious. I laugh a little as I look to the snitch.

"You are mine" I smirk "And I don't play well with others"

I drop the pipe on the floor and lean down grabbing Happy by the ankles and drag him into the side room I saw filled with old tools. I leave him in the middle and walk to the door; I risk a glance back and can't help but smirk as I see he's still unconscious.

"I'll make it up to you" I say to his sleeping body before closing the door and dragging an old oil drum in front of the door.

I take off my Kutte was I walk towards the snitch and stop in front of him.

"You going to talk or am I going to get creative?"

"Fuck you" he mumbles trying to act all hard

"Adorable" I laugh "Oh well creative it is"

0-0-0-0-0-0-

I move the oil drum from the door and open it to see Happy leant against one of the walls a cigarette in his hand. I wipe my bloody hands on a rag I found and look at him.

"Well?" he asks

"Not telling" I smirk

He growls and drops his cigarette to the floor stamping on it, I watch steadily as he stalks forward and grabs my shoulders and slams me against the wall next to the door.

"You knocked me out"

"At least I didn't shoot you" I taunt "It was tempting trust me"

I see him studying me and I stare right back without backing down. I drop the rag to the floor and reach up hooking my hands around his neck. He watches confused as I lean up on my tiptoes and place my lips against his. It takes him ten seconds before he's kissing me back, the pressure slowly building from a slow caress to a full scale war for domination.

He lifts me by my ass and places me on top of a hay bale as I start pushing his Kutte off his shoulders. He grabs my shirt and rips it over my head, my bra and his shirt soon following. My fingers graze over his smiley faces at the same time his do over my birds; I feel a sick satisfaction as I realize I have almost triple the amount of kills on him.

He steps back and I look up at him glaring.

"If you stop I will shoot you"

He stares at me for a few more seconds before slamming his lips back against mine with enough force to steal the breath from my lungs. I kiss him back with as much ferocity as my hands drift to his trousers and begin undoing his belt and jeans before pushing them to the floor. I help him get me out of my trousers and underwear before wrapping my legs around his waist, neither of us caring for foreplay; hell I just want him inside me already.

He pushes me to lie down on the hay and ignoring the scratchy feeling as I watch him through lidded eyes, his hands run up and down my thighs before running over my pelvis, his hands leaving a trail of Goosebumps in their wake. I growl with impatience as he smirks at me and leans down taking a nipple into his mouth as his hands once again graze over my birds.

"Just fuck me already" I almost shout

He does as I ask and with one thrust he's buried to the hilt, the two of us almost groaning at the feeling. I am not a nun but I hadn't slept with anyone in a while, if I was completely honest I'd only slept with one person since Happy. So yeah it's been a while for me.

His thrusts have an almost desperate edge to them; my hips try and almost fail to meet him halfway. His hands dig into any skin they come into contact with leaving a sort of map of bruises along my body. I cry out as I feel a volcano building in my stomach, the torment of his desperation taking me to heights I'd never reached. As my orgasm hits a darkness clouds my eyes and it takes a few minutes to realign myself and catch my breath, I faintly hear Happy cry out in the background as I concentrate on breathing. As Happy pulls out and I correct my breathing I sit up and jump off the hay bale and land on shaky legs, I steady myself as I get redressed. I don't once look at Happy until I'm completely dressed.

"So is that it" he asks "Just use me to get laid"

"I had an itch that needed scratching" I shrug "And you are a damn good fuck"

I walk away from him and over to where my Kutte is and place it back on my shoulders before grabbing my gun. I go to leave but Happy's voice stops me. I look over to see him still naked but his whole attention on me. I look away and carry on walking.

"I don't even know who you are anymore"

"Yeah you're not the only one" I mumble as I walk out the barn leaving Happy stood there

* * *

**END NOTE – SO I seem to be taking one step forward five steps back with these two. And I don't even know how I'm going to repair their relationship. SO ANY IDEAS ARE WELCOME.**

**REMEMBER FIVE MINUTES TO REVIEW SO PLEASE DO.**


	10. Revelations

The way you turned your head

And all the words you said

The way they left your lips they left me

Frozen in my tracks

Now you can't take them back

No it's too late for that, now I feel

The aftermath of

A fragile, cracked love

That all but fell apart

Like gravel to skin

The hurt has set in

And all that's left of my heart

Are pieces and parts

**Aftermath – Rascal Flatts**

As I walk to my bike I hear footsteps behind me, I ignore them and continue walking. Knowing for a fact that if I even turned around again I would just run back to him and repeat what we've just done. I can't get into those vicious cycles, it just doesn't end well.

"Did you even love me?"

His voice stops me short and this time I do turn around.

"You say you loved me yet your actions know state that I was nothing more than a convenience for you. A way to get to the sons and fuck everything up"

"I did love you" I state firmly, no wavering in my voice or eyes as I stare straight into his coal ones "I still do"

"Then let me help you" He sighs frustrated

"No" I reply shaking my head "I'm keeping you at arm's length to keep you safe. I am not having the blood of the ones I love on my hands any more. I can't and won't. So please don't get the fuck involved, deal with shit for your own club and leave Hook to me"

I turn back around and over to my bike climbing on not once looking at Happy, once my helmet is on I start the bike and speed out spitting dirt and gravel behind me. I don't slow down until I'm pulling up in front of D's house, my house being occupied by the other four members of the Stockton charter until they can find somewhere to live for themselves.

"You good boss" Slash asks from the porch as I cut off my bike

"Yeah" I nod

"D's inside, she wanted you"

"Okay"

I walk into the house and find D in the living room twisting her hands, a nervous tick of hers that has always bugged me as I always find myself watching her hands instead of her face as she's talking.

"You wanted to talk to me"

"Yes boss" she sighs and I can't help but feel like a fucking drill sergeant when they all reply like that "I'm moving out of this house"

"Where are you going?" I ask raising an eyebrow yet deep down I already know the answer.

"Chibs asked me to move in with him" She says not meeting my eye "And asked me to be his official old lady"

"Official" I smirk, I know what it means but I feel like tormenting the hell out of D

"He asked me to marry him" She all but shouts at me and I bite my lip to stop my laughter.

"And neither of you thought to consult me, I am the daughter after all"

"Oh shit" she replies with wide eyes and that breaks my control on my laughter. She stares as I laugh

"I'm just yanking your chain D. you've got my blessing to be with my dad"

She smiles sadly before walking over and hugging me tightly, I return it before walking out to sit with Slash on the porch as she finishes whatever it was she was doing before I turned up. I didn't know the ins and outs of her and my dad's relationship. All I knew was she made my dad happy and at the end of the day, that's all that fucking matters in my book.

I mean I could die at any point in this war that has landed on my doorstep and who would my dad have after that, who would my dad have to bring him out of his drunk stupors and make sure he got on with his life. Not me, so I was glad he had D she'd keep his ass on the straight and narrow.

"Everything good?" Slash asks and I nod as he hands me a beer from the cooler at his feet

"Yeah" I nod "So where are we on the hunt for Hook?"

"Nowhere, I keep hitting brick walls everywhere"

"Well I have something" I smirk "That guy Happy found squealed like a pig when I was done with him"

"So" Slash asks sitting up a little higher and I smirk

"He has a partner, someone else who was burned by Vegas and Me" I shrug "And they are from Charming"

"Clay" Slash spits and I nod

"It seems the two of them have paired up to bring me down. They both want me dead and they thought what better way to achieve it then together. That will be how Hook knew who my dad was and how hurting him would hurt me"

"What a fucking asshole" Slash growls "If you don't fucking kill that old bastard I'll do it my fucking self"

"We need to act clever now" I sigh trying to control Slash's anger and bring him back to the problem at hand "We must make sure the sons don't know any of our plans. That way if Clay has paid one of them to spy they have fuck all to report"

"I'll tell the other guys. If it comes to it we'll all discuss fake plans in front of them. That way we don't get the snitch in trouble but will also help find who it is"

I nod as Slash's words sink in and realize he's right. As per usual.

"Good" I reply "I don't know what's going to happen next but I do know there are two birds reserved for both Clay and Hook"

"We'll end this C" Slash says placing a hand on my shoulder as I take a swig of my beer "We will bring those two down. We will put them to ground and we will move on, hell you might even be able to fix yours and Happy's relationship"

"I think that is beyond fixing Slash"

"No" he says shaking his head "it can be fixed but you just need to slow down and think on where you belong. You've always said you don't belong anywhere but we all belong somewhere. You just have to think of where your 'home' is and from there shit will get sorted"

"Cheers Slash" I smirk "for being my annoying voice of reason"

"You're welcome" He laughs "I'm going to fill the others in"

I watch as he stands and heads off up the street towards my house where the others are, as I turn to look back forward my phone rings and I grab it to see it's Wolf

"Yeah" I ask answering it

"How's things going?"

I fill Wolf in on everything, from what we've found out to the plans we have for bringing down Hook and Clay. I hear him curse loudly on the other end of the phone and I know he hates this situation just as much as I do.

"I'll get you more bodies" He states "But anyway Stockton still needs a chain of command doesn't it?"

"Yeah" I drawl slowly "What of it?"

"I want you to be the president C?" He states and I choke on the spit in my mouth "Don't argue with me C, the others have already told me how you've led them, how you've thought of so many ways to get out of shit and deal with it. Only a president can think like that. So what do you say?"

"Do I have a choice" I sigh

"Sort of" he laughs and I hate him "C a club needs a strong president who will help them through the bad shit and who's better than an enforcer who has been through so much bad shit and is no doubt still fucking going through it. Hell Slash would be awesome as your VP. From what I've heard he keeps you grounded"

"I'll think on it"

"That's all I'm asking"

I end the phone call and drop my phone onto my lap as I run my hand through my hair stressed. What the fuck possessed Wolf to think of me as a fucking president. Oh I am so having a word with the others later. It would seem their big mouths landed me in this situation.

* * *

**END NOTE – I know this is short but It's a filler, I needed to build up to the big things I have planned. From Hook and Clay to Chaos and Happy. Hopefully I can pull it all off. Anyway I'm down with the Flu so I might be able to update sooner but only if you REVIEW AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK.**


	11. The End Of One Chapter

You can't break me

Crush the fears of yesterday

You can't save me

Barriers of trust will fade.

I've stood in the dark

Been waiting all this time

While we damn the dead I'm trying to survive

I'm not ready to die

Damned, watch the masses fall

Burn it down, control 'em all

(Help me) Make me crawl

To daddy's little girl I'll read the writings on the wall

**Not Ready To Die – Avenged Sevenfold**

"Don't we have people to do this shit for us" I growl as I push the cart down another isle in the supermarket. I've been somehow hoodwinked into helping with the shopping. Me and Slash are getting the frozen food, Wheel's and Queenie are getting the booze and Shy is doing fuck knows what down another isle, knowing him he'll be stocking up on his condoms and KY Jelly.

"Nope we haven't gotten any prospects yet so this is our job for now" Slash replies with his Cheshire cat grin firmly on his face.

"The club needs to be fucking built yesterday"

Slash just smirks at me and carries on throwing frozen food into the cart, my attention being elsewhere so I can't really see what he's putting in, all I know is if Queenie cooks it then I'll eat it, that woman is one hell of a biker but a damn better cook.

"Have you thought anymore on Wolf's offer?" Slash asks after dropping something else in making me jump

"Not really" I sigh running a stressed hand through my hair before following Slash further down the aisle "I haven't really had the time have I"

It had been a week since Wolf threw the question at me to be president of the Stockton charter and between my dad and D's wedding which had apparently been planned by D early into the relationship. Doing three runs to get funds for the new club and arguing with developers who are holding back the completion of the club and garage I hadn't really had time to breathe never mind think about a promotion.

"You should go for it boss" Slash replies seriously "You've already gotten all our votes"

"Yeah I know" I nod "But come on Slash, I'm not made to be a president"

"True" He nods contemplating "But is any president of a new charter, they all have to go through hell and come out the other side to know how to run shit properly. And as Wolf said, you're an enforcer you've seen the bad side of a club so therefore you can help guide a club through the bad times"

"You really are a pain in my ass" I sigh "Let's get out of here"

He nods and doesn't say anything else as I walk to the counter and begin piling shit onto it, the woman at the counter looks like she's going to say something but one well practiced look from me she decides better and instead begins to check out our shit with her fish lips sealed. Once all the shit is bagged and paid for we walk out to the car and begin placing it inside, I always hated cages but in times like this they come in handy.

After placing our shopping inside we stand and have a smoke as we wait for the others to finish. After five minutes there is still no sign of them and I feel a cold sweat gather at the back of my neck as though something seems off.

"Go find the others" I order Slash who just nods

I watch as Slash walks back into the supermarket, his right hand behind his back no doubt covering his gun. My eyes begin skating across the parking lot trying to spot anything out of order, I frown as I see nothing but the tingling feeling begins to get worse. I hear footsteps behind me and spin on the spot but before I can do anything my whole world goes black.

"Sloppy Chaos" I hear before succumbing to the dark.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

I notice three things as I begin to come too. **One** I absolutely hate being kidnapped and it was starting to become a routine I wish I'd stop following. **Two** there is absolutely no sound surrounding wherever we are which means we are miles away from civilisation and **three** the two scents in the air let me know who the men are well before I open my eyes. Sometimes you have to love men's aftershave and how strong it is.

I strain my ears to listen intently around me and nearly jump as I hear the sounds of bullets being entered into a gun magazine, I slow my breathing down to a level that would look as though I'm still knocked out and listen intently again, trying to gain as much information as I can If I'm going to get out of this alive.

"What are we going to do with her?" A voice I instantly recognize as Hook asks whom I can only assume is Clay

"Kill her"

Yep defiantly Clay and what I wouldn't give to wipe that smarmy ass look that is no doubt plastered on his face.

"That easy?" Hook asks

It is then that I realize Hook isn't calling the shots, Clay is. Which in turns sends all of our plans heads up and into the shitter. Fucking great. I don't listen to their plans on how to kill me instead I begin strategizing on how to get out of this current predicament with my life in tact as deep down I know these two evil fuckers don't want me leaving alive.

"Chaos" Hook coos and it takes everything in me not to throw up "Time to wake up darling"

I keep my complaint in my lips as a harsh hand slaps across my right cheek instead I spring my eyes open and glare at Hook.

"Looks like you've been awake a while"

"Fuck you" I growl "Or should I say fuck Clay, you seem to be his bitch"

Yeah me and my brain to mouth filter are so going to have a conversation one day as the fucker seems determined to get me into trouble.

I wince as I feel another slap to my cheek this one harder, once the hand moves I feel the barrel of a gun pointed into the side of my head and cant help but chuckle at the cliché present in the situation. They are pointing a gun at an enforcer, are they fucking ridiculous.

I regulate my breathing and continue to stare at Hook and watch as he begins pacing in front of me, my eyes counting his every step trying to see if there is a perfect time to strike. Whilst my other senses become aware of Clay behind me, his breathing letting me know his excitement is getting the better of him.

"So?" I drawl "Is there a point to this little get together or is it just for me to die in a dingy little shack with no witnesses"

"The latter" Clay growls and I nod hating the feeling of the gun scrape against my skin

"Now I thought you two would have wanted the big showdown, bring me off my high horse with plenty of people to watch" I reply sarcastically even throwing in an eye roll "How I misunderstood the two of you"

"Shut up" Hook growls faltering in his steps the same time I feel the gun loosen on my temple.

"Big mistake"

I jump up and pull my hands free of the binds I'd been loosening silently and bring my elbow back hard into Clay's face dazing him at the same time as I grab the gun. I turn and let off a round and see with sick satisfaction it land into Hook's leg bringing him down onto his knees. I run forward and lift my knee slamming it under his jaw knocking him out. As I turn to see where Clay is I stop short as I see him gone.

"Don't play games Clay" I growl "We've been playing them for too long"

"That we have"

I cry out as a sharp pain hits me in the head again but not hard enough to knock me out, I drop onto my knees and kick out my leg in an arch behind me straight after swiping Clay's feet from under him, smirking as I hear him land hard on the floor. I jump out only to cry out as I slam onto the floor, Clay doing the same trick to me. I watch helplessly as the gun scatters across the floor away from me and look over my shoulder to see Clay getting to his feet. I turn onto my back and do the same, ducking a punch from Clay and bringing on of my own into his chest and another to his jaw in an uppercut.

I jump back out of his reach and begin edging towards where the gun is laying; only using the corner of my eye to look, not once trusting to remove my vision from Clay.

"It didn't have to come to this" he says as he stalks after me, blood dripping down his chin from the cut in his lip

"We knew it was coming to this when I was a teenager and we started our dance of betrayal"

"True" He smirks "But if you'd just stayed working for me none of this would have happened. Hell you would have had to open your mouth. You might even still be with Happy now and who knows he might have gotten you pregnant three more times"

"Nah" I reply stopping still making Clay do the same "I'm not the old lady material. I couldn't stay at home and pretend everything's fine when he comes back of runs smelling like another bitch"

"Oh darling, Happy hasn't touched another woman since you walked out on him. Well I should say rode out on him. You must have some magical pussy to keep him pining for it"

"Shame I don't do evil conniving bastards or I'd let you have a ride"

As I wait for my words to sink in I dart down into a crouch and secure the gun into my right hand, cocking it and before I've registered I've done it I've levelled the gun on Clay and pulled off two rounds. I watch with unabashed shock as each bullet hits Clay between the eyes and the life begins to drain.

I swallow my shock and watch as he drops "See you in hell you bastard"

I slowly become aware of my surroundings again and my eyes dart over to where Hook is to see him levelling a gun on me.

"I hope you two save me a place in hell"

Before I can fire my gun a sharp pain enters my chest and I'm thrown backwards, the sounds of more gunfire echoing around me. It goes quiet as I feel the blood begin to clog in my throat, my eyes blink uncontrollably as I try to fight the darkness edging its way in. The sound of sirens breaks out in the distance followed by the sounds of footsteps running away.

The sick bastard wanted to watch me die, well fuck you. I choke on the blood before finally closing my eyes, the darkness winning this fight as I feel myself become severely light-headed, my breathing become laboured and all sound soon disappears as I swim in a very dark abyss.

* * *

**END NOTE**

**I'M NOT DEAD…So sorry about the lack of updates, I had flu for three weeks and I was really really bad. Anyway I hope this chapter makes up for it. Yeah I wanted Clay dead and also a way to slow Chaos down a little bit.**

**I have big plans so no she won't die, not yet anyway. Haha**

**ANYWAY REVIEW AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK. LOVELIES.**


	12. The Beginning of Another

Oh Lord, Oh Lord, what have I done?

I've fallen in love with a man on the run

Oh Lord, Oh Lord, I'm begging you please

Don't take that sinner from me

Oh don't take that sinner from me

Oh Lord, Oh Lord, what do I do?

I've fallen for someone who's nothing like you

He's raised on the edge of the devil's backbone

Oh I just wanna take him home

Oh I just wanna take him home

Ooooooooooo

Ooooooooooo

Oh Lord, Oh Lord, he's somewhere between

A hangman's knot, and three mouths to feed

There wasn't a wrong or a right he could choose

He did what he had to do

Oh he did what he had to do

Ooooooooooo

Ooooooooooo

Devil's Backbone – The Civil Wars

I always believed that killing Clay would be like a lead weight had been lifted of my shoulders, or a boulder being removed from my chest so I could finally breathe. But it didn't feel like that, if I was totally honest for the first time in my life I felt guilty about a kill. I regretted that I took him away from his family and made him pay for his sins.

I know people would think it's weird that I would think like this because I hated Clay, but deep down I also loved him. I grew up with him, I watched everything he did in hopes of one day being exactly like him, wearing a Kutte and being the baddest bitch in town. It was weird for me to feel guilty especially as in my darkest nights stuck in the hospital I would envision different ways in which I could have killed him, like making him beg for death watching as his blood pools on the floor before I finally deliver it to him.

I sigh shaking the dark thoughts away and turn off the small tv in my hospital room and look around at the new flowers that had been delivered whilst I was asleep. I knew who they were from as they were the only ones snuck into the room; my guys brought flowers when I was awake. I knew I'd have to face the sons at some point and try to explain my actions, they might have kicked Clay out but he was still part of their family and I had killed him, killed him without consulting Jax which if I didn't rectify shit soon would turn into a full scale fucking war.

Disney had come around a few times and fussed over me which made me angry, just because I was stuck in a hospital room didn't mean I was some sort of invalid. It took me threatening her and Slash before she got it through her head. I didn't do fucking sympathy; I was a fucking killer for god sake.

"Whoa you look as though you want to kill something"

I look over to see Wolf stood in the doorway of my room, a large bunch of black roses in his hand and a bag of what smells like donuts. I smile at him and he walks in shutting the door behind him, I watch as he places the roses down on a table and hands the donuts to me. I open the bag and pull out a jam one as he sits in the chair next to my bed that Disney had vacated less than an hour ago.

"So what's the damage?" He asks once I've finished my donut and wiped my hands on a paper towel he hands me

"The bullet lodged into the side of my head but missed all major shit, besides the fact that I will probably have bad headaches for a while docs said I should be good to go in about three weeks"

Wolf nods and I see him contemplating something, his dark eyes darkening even more.

"I'm ordering you to rest" he says and I almost balk at his tone but nod and lower my head submissively "You are to become president of Stockton and you are to rest"

"For how long?" I ask my voice a lot more quiet then I would normally have it.

"Not long" He replies and I look up "I know you Chaos and there is no way I could tie you down for a long period of time when Hook is out there somewhere with your name on top of his shit list. So I need you to direct your anger and quick smart brain towards getting this charter up and running"

I nod and let out a small sigh. Sometimes I fucking hated being a nomad, it meant that when the Mother charter came a knocking you fucking answered and did as you were told. If you didn't well you could kiss your patch goodbye.

And right now it looks as though I'm a fucking president which means I can kiss the freedom I had as an enforcer good fucking bye.

"Don't look so put out Chaos" Wolf laughs bringing my attention back to him "It will be three months tops"

"It better be" I growl

"It will" He nods challenging to me to disagree again "But it starts once you get out of hospital and I know you have two more weeks. No arguments Chaos, it's settled. Now I have a few runs up and coming for your guys and girl which will help bring in the money. And the Sons are willing to help"

"Wait what?" I say cutting Wolf off, the shock no doubt written all over my face

"I talked to Jax about what went down and how you had to end it. They were more pissed off that you nearly died in the process then you actually killing Clay" Wolf smirks "Definite princess you are"

"Don't call me that" I growl

"Well when it comes to that club Chaos that is what you are" He shrugs "Anyway as I was saying. The sons are willing to help when you need bodies and also when you need muscles, seeing as you don't really have enforcers at the moment Jax will lend you them"

"Happy?" I say and I know Wolf gets what I mean and by the look in his eyes it's the truth.

Just fucking great, not only have I got to deal with getting a fucking club up and running, making plans to kill Hook but I also have to deal with Happy. Especially after what Clay said it was something that wasn't even on my to do list.

Wolf and I sit and talk a little more before he leaves to go sort out my guys who were on the verge of going stir crazy apparently but also to see how the new club is going and see what needs seeing to. I was thankful for the silence, too much had been put on my shoulders in such short span of time I was starting to loose which way was up.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

"Now don't do anything too strenuous and if you become in serious pain which is beyond a headache I want you to come straight back here"

I look at Tara as she stands there reeling off all the doctor speech and smile, I can see on her face she knows I won't listen to any of it, but to keep her job she'll tell me it anyway.

"Of course doc" I smirk "I'll make sure to amend all the rules accordingly"

"Nikki" she almost growls at me and I lose my battle with hysteria and burst out laughing, only stopping as a sharp pain erupts behind my right eye. Tara goes to step forward but I raise a hand and breathe through the pain before grabbing my bag from the bed.

"No doubt you'll see me around so you can keep an eye on me"

"Don't be a stranger Nik" She sighs following me out and over to where Slash is stood

"I won't"

We briefly hug and I follow Slash out of the hospital and into the SUV waiting in the parking lot. I didn't care that he picked me up in a cage, after three weeks stuck in a hospital I just wanted out.

"The clubhouse is done" Slash says breaking the silence in the car "Well not completely as it's not even decorated but it's built"

"Wolf kicked some ass I take it" I chuckle

"You bet" Slash nods "I like the new patch you're sporting boss"

"Oh shut it" I glower "It's only temporary"

"You sure?" Slash asks "Are you sure the temporary part isn't you having to rest and not you being president"

"Slash shut your fucking trap before I shut it for you"

He does the sensible thing and shuts his mouth but for the life of me I can't get his words out of his mouth, if I was honest I didn't fully clarify with Wolf which part was temporary but I hope to god he meant my President role, he knows I don't do being tied down, not after the shit storm that was Vegas.

We pull up to the new clubhouse and I watch as all the guys and from the patches on their backs Sons start bringing stuff into the clubhouse. I climb out the car making sure my beanie is situated to cover my head, I was self conscious of the fact that half of my head was shaved off and I had one hell of a scar forming. I walk past them all, my guys and girl giving me nods of respect as their eyes land on my 'President' patch, but I don't miss the mild satisfaction that flickers in all their eyes.

"CHURCH NOW"

I walk into church and watch as they all follow in behind me, I nod to slash to sit on my left and for Shy to sit on my right. Queenie shuts the door and sits down next to Slash and Wheel's next to her with Disney next to Shy.

"You know I don't like sitting in this chair" I start all their eyes on me "But I will not tolerate any of you trying to get one over on me, you know my history and you know I will shoot first and ask questions later"

They all nod and I sigh.

"Hook is out there and he will come for me but we aren't going to stoop to his level. We are going to plan, we are going to strategize, we are going to do things smart. So in the meantime we will do our runs and make some money, we will get this clubhouse going and we will build our ranks"

"Wolf has put trust in all of us to do this" Slash takes over looking at them all and I smile knowing he is the best choice for V.P "We aren't going to let him or Chaos down are we?"

"NO" they all chorus and I nod

"Let's get the future built" I smirk before slamming the gavel for the first time signalling the end of the first official church for the Hell'S Reaper's Stockton charter.

* * *

**END NOTE – I don't like this chapter but it's needed. From here on out I am going to try and tie every loose end up. But there will still be drama, there will still be fights and bloodshed but this chapter is one step closer to the end.**

**REVIEWS MAKE ME HAPPY. SO PLEASE REVIEW.**


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